The List

Drunk texting for beginners

Hold onto your hats, ladies and gentlemen, because your girl got drunk for the first time and it was lit.

Okay, I don’t actually say “lit” very often, but this seems like a reasonable event to use the word. Now, forgive me, because I actually did this like 4 weeks ago and haven’t had the chance to sit down and talk about. And since then, I have another issue to address, so this will probably a double update night.

But first, drinking. My friend and I are very new to purchasing alcohol, so we got the first thing we could think of: rum and coke. And then we got some Mike’s Hard Lemonade to add to the mix. She’s also shit at mixing drinks, and I’m shit at handling alcohol so the first drink was hard to swallow.. but she got better at mixing, and I got better at drinking. We put on the movie Why Him and started on our first drink, and then our second, and then our third.. and we were drinking them so quickly that we weren’t feeling the affects at the time. But eventually it hit. And it hit me kinda hard.

Basically, everything was hilarious and I probably told the boy I like that I like him about 800 times in the span of 3 hours.. but it was fun! People always say that they regret drinking and that they feel sick, but halfway through a bottle of rum and we were having a blast. I don’t think we were very drunk. I remember things being a bit fuzzy and texting was hard because things moved slightly, so my typing was off, but we were coherent and able to form proper sentences. My main problem was losing my filter, apparently.

I think Mr. Darcy took it well, didn’t respond with enthusiasm to my confessions of infatuation, but he wasn’t a dick and didn’t ignore me. A win, I would say.

I think it helped that my friend’s parents were home, and they stopped by and told us that if we drank any more we’d be making a visit to the hospital, which scared my friend and thus she began practically feeding me a bottle of water between every sip of alcohol.. She’s a angel, that one is. We finished drinking, laughed a lot, sent some embarrassing text messages, and woke up hangover free.

I guess what I learned from the whole “texting while drunk” experience is: drunk texting is not bad if you’re coherent enough to know what you’re saying, delete the exes numbers prior to indulging, and have your best friend on stand-by to remove the phone from your possession should you start saying shit you probably shouldn’t.

Anyway, another experience in the bag. From my heart to yours,


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