Self Love

Why I wear lingerie

Let’s be clear here: I wear lingerie for me, and only me. Now, if I happen to be in the presence of an attractive other person, and that person enjoys seeing me in lingerie, then I guess that’s a bonus for them. But I did not put on this lace bodysuit so a boy could get himself off to the sight of me.

Wearing lingerie for yourself is so fucking empowering. Buy a little, lacy, sexy baby-doll, slap on some lipstick and don those stiletto heels. Trust me, you’ll fall in love with yourself because you will own that look. When you embrace feeling sexy, you become sexy to everyone else who sees you. I firmly believe that the way people view you is directly influenced by the way you see yourself.

Now, I’ve never actually been the type of person who I would say is sexy or hot. I’m fairly short, weigh about 140 lbs and have been in a long-standing battle with acne for as long as I can remember. Makeup helped a little in making me confident, but nothing compared to the day I first made a purchase off the website AdoreMe. “This is it” I thought to myself. I was finally going to be sexy now that I would own a piece of lingerie.

I was sorta just starting off with Mr. Darcy and, at the time, I did make those first purchases with the intention of wanting to look good for him. I was having an internal battle over feeling like I could get him because I already thought that I was sexy enough while at the same time struggling to prove to him (and most importantly, to myself) that I could be sexy enough to deserve him. I thought I needed to wear something sexy otherwise he wouldn’t see me that way. I still sometimes feel that I need to dress sexy to keep his attention on me, but that’s a different issue, and that no longer influences my purchasing of lingerie. Most what I bought that first time, that I thought I was purchasing for him he’s never actually ended up seeing.

When I put that first piece on, for the first time, I felt like the strongest, sexiest person I know. That is why I continue to buy lingerie. I buy it for myself. I buy it to make myself feel strong. Confident. Sexy. Worth looking at. I buy it because putting it on for the first time made me understand that I deserve to feel beautiful for myself first.

Being attractive to others shouldn’t dictate what you should and shouldn’t purchase. But it’s okay if it does occasionally, because at one point it did for me. One day, I’m going to put on something sexy for myself, and I’m going to look in the mirror and love myself exactly the way I am. And then after I’ve done that, I’m going to step in front of someone else, and I’m going to be vulnerable, and scared that they won’t see sexy the same way I do. But at least I’ll love myself enough at that point to not let it destroy the person I see in the mirror.

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