I think I’m falling for a boy.
For the purpose of anonymity we are going to refer to him as Mr. Darcy (which is the most cliché fictional stand-in for a lover ever, but for the sake of getting this post up, we’re going to pretend I’m creative).
Techncally I’m not actually dating Mr. Darcy at the moment. I’m working on it. But I feel like now is a good time to introduce him into my narrative that is this blog, because in the next few weeks, my relationship with Mr. Darcy is going to go one of three ways..
Option 1: I tell Mr. Darcy I like him, Mr. Darcy replies stating that he likes me too, we fall madly in love. I am a basic person, who wants desperately to have a very basic romantic relationship. Just once, an easy love.
Option 2: I tell Mr. Darcy I like him, Mr. Darcy says that he does not feel the same, we continue to hookup regardless. I am honestly fine with this option, as before Mr. Darcy even entered the picture (for the second time), I was prepared to continue on being single.
Option 3: I tell Mr. Darcy I like him, Mr. Darcy says that he does not feel the same, and we fall out. Again. This is the least desirable outcome.
I guess I should tell you how I met Mr. Darcy, but to be honest, I don’t really remember. It was a long time ago, over 7 years. I can tell you that Mr. Darcy was my first boyfriend, and we were 12. Ah, young love, eh? He was a good first boyfriend. We went on one date to the movies. I distinctly remember waiting for him to hold my hand for the entirety of the movie. He didn’t. Later that night he told me he was too nervous to hold my hand. A few months later we broke up. The details of this aren’t all that important. He broke up with me, I got over it, and I sort of forgot all about it.
Okay, flash forward! My second year of university begins and guess who I start to see around campus? Mr. Darcy has made yet another appearance in my life. And this time around, I avoid him with everything I’ve got. I wasn’t avoiding Mr. Darcy because I hated him. I didn’t even dislike him. I just didn’t think that I needed to bring my past into my future. If we made eye contact in the halls, I looked away. Simple as that.
Side note: way back when we were mere preteens, I lacked a lot of confidence. University level me mastered the art of winged eyeliner and has big boobs, thick thighs and a nice ass, if I do say so myself. I don’t know if this affected Mr. Darcy’s next moves, but I have a feeling it at least helped with the initial push..
But maybe not so simple. Because at the start of December this past year Mr. Darcy slid straight into my Facebook messages. I didn’t open that message for a good 24 hours. I didn’t think I was ever going to open that message. But my curiousity got the better of me.
To sum it up, I opened the message, responded with hesitancy, and gradually let myself fall for you again. We flirted for weeks, Mr. Darcy, and then we met up. And then you kissed me (or maybe I kissed you). And I think I fell for you a long time ago.
I have a feeling Mr. Darcy will frequent these posts as he has become quite an important fixture in my life. Hopefully, the next update will titled something along the lines of “Mr. Darcy: the perfect boyfriend” (I’ll work on the title, I promise).
Heres to the love,